I wish people would stop talking about "The Environment".

It confuses me; because that's what I call the place where I work.

It would be nice if people weren't so self absorbed and didn't assume everyone else knew what they were talking about.

Let's be a little more specific people.

note: "Mother of nature has gone to the doc for a test, she's found a lump". Odds from Family Tree

double note: the environment on planetross is getting a little sweaty.

http://humor-blogs.com/

I love this quote. Torah has taught us to be optimistic. "Baruch Hashem" is constantly used in a Jew's every day language as a response to our state of life; whether we see it from our perspective as a negative or a positive. "A person should always accustom himself to say "All that the Merciful One does is for the good'".(Brachos 60B) How fascinating to find this concept in Life Coaching. Everything that happens depends on one's perspective. This will be the way that our lives are formed. As coaches we are trained to help our clients see occurrences in a positive light. We get to choose how we respond to our situations. There is a common theme of the idea of everything being perfect, and appreciate all that we have. In Torah, the concept is Sameach B'chelko, or simchas hachyim, (Being happy in what we are given as our lot.) Another great example of the way Life Coaching and our Torah teachings are similar, is the belief that everything is perfect just as it is. We are taught that Hashem knows what he is doing, even if we don't understand. It is where we need to be order to reach our next step. Life Coaching stands on the pillar of faith. It is in our hands how we want to perceive life. It is up to us to decide how rich or poor our lives will be.

As my son says,"Torah is our life coach."

I'm looking around at a mess, and feeling messier inside. Around me I see half-packed boxes, half-unpacked suitcases, piles of bags and clothes and papers. The disorganization frustrates me, but really points to a deeper soul disorganization. I do wish I balanced my checkbook (sort of), but even more, I wished I lived better. I wish these transition months weren't so yucky, that I had a better attitude, that I grew and learned through them more.

I've actually written a couple of posts in the time since I've blogged, but I haven't been bold enough to post them. Words can belie what we can hide in our faces . . . and sometimes "we're most of us stories we're scared to explain" (Ellery)

I'm thinking October will be good. In my (fairy tale?) dream, most everything will be more settled then and I'll have a rhythm and routine of life, school, work, church, and community. Either that, or I'll need to be banished to a desert island.

I'm looking forward to this next season; I've not by any means moved past the pain of leaving the last season, but there will be sweet joys ahead. Living with Sarah Jo, finding a new community of co-laborers, growing in my knowledge of medicine, running outside, having Friday night cousin dinners, finding the nearest hole-in-the-wall Ethiopian restaurant, volunteering at a community clinic . . . I know so much of this is ahead, yet still my faith is frail. He's never failed me, but somehow I doubt that God can or will bring these things about in my life. I'm so grateful that my faith, and God's provision, is not dependent on how I feel in the midst of this current chaos.

"I'm lookin' forward to lookin' back on this day."

Over the Rhine

There is no doubt that in his own country, their family, their own culture, the first traitor and the most similar welcome from the people, because of his defiance of conventional words and deeds, hacked the World Customs panic, all stick to the traditional, conservative People feel the world is approaching the end, all the careful Contentment Gou of the people Danchanxinjing. Therefore, the traitor has become rotten to the core of the first, the target of public criticism. Rentier succession of generations, are Deshi power and the power, diverse enough to live comfortably, preaching, to his statement of interest to him Wishing official closure, and then to his abusive, he framed, shot him……

Therefore, treason life is likely to be short-lived; traitor could easily be tried and slander, was on fire, was shot dead, or were deported to remote, exotic.

However, the traitor is always difficult to change their character, they are inherently "anti-bone". they have been sucking their host of that society, that culture, that class of "milk". He wrote. "This kind of fighter," perhaps the real treason is life: He walked into nothing of the RUF, in the face of all kinds of nod,a variety of weapons, has unwaveringly He also encountered a variety of Kind of figures and all sorts of tricks, philanthropists, scholars and scribes, the elderly, youth,gentlemen, science, ethics, public opinion, national essence, logic, justice, Eastern civilization…"but he still As always, the vote raised sharp gun…… This is the traitor's life. Foresight, burdened by heavy responsibility, lonely stubborn, more than fighting.

However, not all of the times require treason life. In particular, is a happy mediocrity of the times, people have to get their point bounty complacent, they do not like to hear the thunderous sky, Swallow's call, and willing to Chanmian melodious immersed in the Serenade, to enjoy the narrow space of Mai Mai and the warmth and quiet. At this time, there is a traitor sound of police vehicles. Of course, maybe I would like to wrong. At this time, more needs traitor fell Zhenbi a call. History, who can predict?

I was hiking today with Dad and Aaron and the trail was pretty difficult. It was uphill a lot of the time (or up-rock rather). We were climbing rocks and hopping from one to the other most of the way in and out. It was taking a lot of concentration to say the least and Dad said something about how it was so intense he was concentrating so hard on not tripping he didn’t even have time to day dream.

That’s one thing that is really good about hiking. You can get a lot of thinking done. Even when you are with a person as talkative as me there is still plenty of time to think and reflect.

After dad said that I got to thinking about how much I think… I was actually thinking at that time about lots of stuff despite the hefty incline. I kinda hear that a lot about myself, I think a lot…

Even the other night I was out with friends listening to music and just relaxing outside and I said something I suppose was “deep” for a night out and my friend said something like I was constantly thinking deep and she didn’t know how I did it. She said, “I am just sitting here thinking about what I have to do tomorrow and you are thinking about good and evil and how to better the world or something!”

I admit, I do think about these kinds of things often. How people are being deceived by the world, the devil, their peers…and it saddens me and I want to help them… sometimes it is mind boggling and discouraging. But this is often what I think of. I told my dad she said that and he said that was abnormal this day and age but from the looks of what he could tell about me, I had trained my mind to think about such things. I have been taught since a child to take every thought captive. I try not to dwell on things I deem inappropriate (or God says is) and when they come up I normally exit them out and think about godly things or why I was even thinking that or if I am thinking that what is this other person thinking… lol crazy I know… but then I get back to God and how He is the best for everything… Yes, this takes a lifetime of training… as in I am still training myself daily for sure.

Sometimes I think about how people don’t like to think. I often ask people what they are thinking and get an “I don’t know” or “nothing” or “can’t say” as the answer….

To me that is nearly impossible. But I am not saying it is that way for everyone.

I do think in some circumstances it is a choice. I know many people that cannot drive, clean, eat, exercise or even sleep without noise. People that CANNOT sleep without the TV on!! and many more than that prefer to have it on to help them sleep, claiming, without the TV their thoughts keep them awake.

Well maybe they are keeping us awake for a reason?

Maybe we should think them?

Think them through…

Are we afraid of what we are thinking? What we might have to deal with?

Why don’t we just think it, write it down, reflect on it and when possible, solve it?

How long can we suppress these thoughts or feelings and hide them with TV, sounds and “I don’t knows”?

Are we afraid to be alone with our thoughts?

Perhaps Americans insistence on sound is indeed a symptom of our stubborn refusal to think.

I think it is very important to have a time of reflection. Call it what you want: prayer, meditation, blogging, etc… these are all ways to get what has been on your mind today OUT. Get it online, on paper, give it to God in prayer or give it to a friend. Keeping it to your self will never help. It will just stay there… haunting you…

Reflection, writing, planning--- all those things can HELP YOU.

Many people lay awake at night planning for tomorrow. Grab a pen and write it down. Then you won’t worry about forgetting and you can add to it when you wake up if you need to. I know that sounds simple but it gets deeper…

If we/you don’t take time to reflect or THINK about your day, your life, your agenda, your goals…

How will you ever improve?

How will you ever solve or let God solve any of your problems?

It seems very important to be able to look at your day and say, “How can I do this better tomorrow?”

How can I be a better person or better to someone, tomorrow?

Think about it

I dare you.

More accurately, it's finals time. I spent Tuesday getting photocopies over town (100 pesos worth!!!) for my UBA history final, and now the task at hand is a political economy of Argentina take home final. I'm nearly done but it's a little slow coming during the end. I can't believe that all of this work has to be done in the next 13 days. Then on the 19th I'm back to the US-- we're getting to the end of the adventure, folks. I can't believe it's been five months.

People keep asking, are you ready to go home? Are you going to miss it?

It's really an answer in the middle for me-- I'm not leaving on the 11th, like some people in the program who are a bit homesick and are changing their flights, but I'm glad I'm not sticking around and traveling for another few weeks. I LOVE this city and I hope I have the opportunity to spend time here in the future, but I'm also excited about what the coming year has to offer me. And what's that, you might ask?

After three fun weeks of Oregon summer I'll be heading back to Georgetown for RA training. I'll be living in a freshman dorm, taking a fun class schedule, enjoying the friendships that have formed over the past two years, and working in UG, the little coffee shop in the middle of campus. Life will be good. It'll be fall in DC, there will be pumpkins, brunch, the Eastern Market-- there will be parties, and boys, and coffee. There will be homework and reading and extensions on papers because sitting and talking with friends was more appealing than getting the paper done. Hopefully there will be a real Christmas tree in Tiggy's Henly apartment, a little bit of snow on the ground, and a not too stressful finals season.

Buenos Aires has been good to me-- it's helped me figure out more clearly who I am, but at the same time, it's made me realize that I'm happy with who that person is-- who I am, who I'm becoming. It's a process and this has been an essential step, but it is by no means the only step and certainly not an isolated step either.

Friendships abroad are a little tricky-- shaky because even though everyone abroad wants to have friends and get to know the people in the program, it's not why we're here. We're here to travel, to get to know the city, to work on our foreign language skills, and to soak up another culture. When I pack my bags in two weeks I know I'll only be unpacking them in Oregon for a 21 day period-- then in DC I'll only have a year.

Then who knows. Eventually I'll be unpacking and putting the suitcase in the closet, not sure when I'll pull it out again. Buenos Aires has been a great adventure. But it isn't the only adventure I have ahead of me.

And that's exciting.

I’ve decided to kick-start a new blog due to various reasons but however, I’m not ready as yet to whether I should officialize this blog as yet.

For now, it’ll be left untouched as I’m tied to my current or rather old blog back in blogspot. I hold my current and past memories there and will only leave it when the time comes. On the contrary, when a certain event occurs - either one of two extremes, then only will I officialize this blog of mine.

xoxo.

// love, sare

So, as of Monday, the vay-cay is DONE.  back to being a grown up with responsibilities and tasks to complete.

Ciao summer.  it's been real.

LOVE IS ALL FULFILLING

Who seeks for heaven to save his soul,
May keep the path but will not reach the goal;
While he who walks in Love may wander far,
Yet God will bring him where the blessed are.
-Henri Van Dyke

Owe no one anything except that you love one another,
for the reason who loves his neigbour has fulfilled the law.
Romans 13:4

Without Love in this world, life is meaningless.
-Hindu thought

No one truly lives who does not truly love.
Taken from poem "Three Essentials For Living" by
Randall Butisingh

Starry nights, city lights coming down over me
Skyscrapers and stargazers in my head
Are we we are, are we we are the waiting unknown
This dirty town was burning down in my dreams
Lost and found city bound in my dreams

And screaming
Are we we are, are we we are the waiting
And screaming
Are we we are, are we we are the waiting

Forget me nots and second thoughts live in isolation,
Heads or tales and fairytales in my mind
Are we we are, are we we are the waiting unknown
The rage and love, the story of my life
The Jesus of suburbia is a lie

And screaming
Are we we are, are we we are the waiting unknown
Are we we are, are we we are the waiting unknown
Are we we are, are we we are the waiting unknown
Are we we are, are we we are the waiting unknown
Are we we are, are we we are the waiting unknown

But almost as if reading my thoughts, Mother Nature doused us with a solid half hour of thunderstorms, cancelling the fireworks show.  Just the weather I had hoped for.

Thunderstorms are my FAVORITE.  Ever since I was little I've been fascinated by them.  Sure, they used to scare me in the middle of the night with incredibly loud cracks of thunder and make me think the house was going to collapse.  Or even that a tree was going to fall in through my window, that was a good one.

Once I realized that the odds of that happening were slim to none, I looked forward to them.  There's just something about thunderstorms that, to me, means summer.  The way you can feel it in the air, and you know it's going to pour.  Being able to watch the sky go from clear and sunny to pitch black in minutes, and then it's like the heavens open up.  And then in another few minutes it's over, and the clouds disappear to make room for the sun.

I love to watch thunderstorms from my window; watching the bursts of lightning and hear the following cracks.  There's something so cool about it, powerful you could say.  Also kind of a weird phenomenon when you think about it more deeply.

But anyway, enough about that.  Just some mumbo-jumbo thoughts since I have nothing more interesting to write about.  Maybe if the Red Sox win tonight I'll have some more commentary on that situation...

Best image that I've found online.

Latest from New York City is:

- On Tuesday I had to pick up an Anthony Goicolea photo from 52nd Street and then taking it to this photo place down on the Eastside at 18th street. This was an experience. Both of these places I have walked by before, and I never had an idea just what went on in there. The creation of Greg Crewdson, Cindy Sherman, LiCorida etc. works... all up in here!!! 

- Then yesterday I delivered some DVDs to be reproduced, and again, a really bland door way that leads to millions of creative arty offices that are scheming above the tourists.

- Tonight I'm going to a real deal Dinner Party with artworld people.  Artists and gallery workers who are 24+.

- I went 2 a real arty BBQ on Sunday and i met some of the most coolest artists and other practitioners, such as Kenneth Tin Kin - check his work out here: http://www.postmastersart.com/archive/tinkin08/tinkin08.html# or

http://www.tinkin.com/

- for July the 4th I'm watching the Fireworks from John Harvey fireboat on the river! Sounds amazing right? And then we have anotherrrr party at the ghetto apartment. Fo' Shizz.

Yet, a lot of us do not feel free in so many ways, now do we? How could we? We are stuck in a war. We fear for our national safety. We fear for our health. Gas prices are keeping us awake at night. We're losing our homes and our jobs. We're slaves to our debts. And we're slaves to our doubts. And these, just to name a few. I don't know about you, but It's definitely more scary than happy to me.

A week ago, I was with some friends and I couldn't resist the temptation to share with them the good news that I am now totally debt-free. You should've seen everyone's jaw drop. One of them cracked a joke and said that because of this, I am now being un-American. As if I no longer relate to normal society. That was when I realized the fact that freedom isn't normal. It's not an everyday thing. In fact, it is rare.

I had a recent conversation with another friend. She was telling me how joyful she is but at the same time, struggling to find herself. As if she does not know who she is inside. Too many questions, not enough answers, I guess. Fear and loneliness. More reasons to dodge freedom.

Another friend of mine at work was telling me how emptiness just fills her heart all the time. Now, I can sympathize with her having been divorced fairly recently. However, I refuse to be a slave to emptiness. I believe that emptiness is overrated. Loneliness is overrated. Like an overweight person too lazy to get up and exercise, it's all a decision, really. You do or you don't. What's it gonna be?

In my life, I have known people who are lonely and fearful and empty. They stay that way a long time because they don't do much about it. In the end, I have learned that sometimes, these places are a safe haven for them. These places, though unhealthy, are what's familiar and comfortable. It's all they know. I have learned this because I've been there myself. Where Heaven is a faraway land. Love and forgiveness are a foreign concept. Integrity and self-confidence are non-existent. Freedom is a scary proposition. And bravery is something you see in the movies.

Have you ever been so critical that you fail to see the good? Is your glass half empty or half full? Yeah yeah yeah, it's cliche, I know.

Well, here it is... the Day of Independence, in America anyway. We're gonna fire up the grill and barbecue to our heart's content. We're gonna watch the fireworks and be proud that we belong in this so-called land of the free and home of the brave. What's your plan? Me, I'm gonna be people watching (while gnawing on my pork ribs, of course). I'm gonna be hangin' out with friends and strangers alike. Hangin' out with the free and the brave, if you will.

This could be scary, indeed. Wish me luck.

My life is kinda boring, but what with either working at home or working for money, i have little time, and i'm too tired to write or paint. I have been cleaning my room though, which is a definite must. But I still do not have any inspiration, my writing all comes out as bleh. I have a fear that all I will amount to is some shit novelist whose works won't amount to anything. I want to be a good writer, not a perfect genius writer, cause I haven't got what it takes. But I do want to be good.

I dunno what life has in store for me. I have also been thinking about my transgenderism. I don't know what will happen with it. For now I'm a crossdresser, but where will it lead. I do like being a guy, and I do love women. And from the sound of sexual reassignment surgery, I don't think it's really for me. It'd be interesting, but I think the farthest I'd go would be to shemale, but I doubt that I would even do that. Of course the future is uncertain, so I will never really know.

I should work out today.

For the last few days, since I finished teaching summer school last Friday, I haven’t made good on my intention to plan for the next school year, haven't read anything from my formidable selection of summer reading, haven't attacked my self-improvement list, and certainly haven't done the chores I should have. I thought I might use this down time to reread material for my classes in the fall or gather poems for a manuscript or work on a gallery webpage. Instead, I’ve been doing painting after painting—chain painting like a chain smoker, just finishing one

to begin another

and another

and another

and another

And all of these are only details from larger paintings.

And, until now, I hadn’t given a thought to writing a blog post either.

Jules Reynard, a nineteenth century French novelist and playwright said, “Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired,” and by that definition I am the laziest person I know, believing myself worthy of a break even before I’ve actually done anything to take a break from.

Gandhi said “Indolence is a delightful but distressing state. One must be doing something to be happy.”

In a defensive mood, I might say I AM active—look at all the art I’ve produced over the last few days—but laziness is in the motive, not in the effort. Knowing painting is what I’d rather do makes painting lazy. A diligent person turns to tasks that are not only necessary but unpleasant and arduous. Arduousness in art doesn’t count…because I enjoy it. And, at the end of the summer, I know I will judge this time by how many of those unpleasant items I accomplish. I won’t be as proud of myself if I only get to cross out "Paint" or “Watch the entire Battlestar Galactica series.”

I try to believe the scholars on the other side, people like Soren Kierkegaard who called idleness “The only true good” but I never really succeed. And I’ve never been good at working for rewards. I’d rather skip to the rewards or, better yet, have the work be rewarding. I know my trouble, an unrealistic sense if how deserving I am. Don’t I do enough during the school year to earn some time off? But I can say that every day until it’s the first day of school. And if only I could stop believing I will say it until then.

Every teacher knows July 4th marks the psychological midpoint of summer, the moment when time stops looking expansive and “back to school” ads begin to grow like dandelions.

If I put half as much effort into doing things as I do agonizing over not doing them…

You complete the sentence. I've got to go.

فتراقصت الكلمات

فصرت

أكتب الشعر

وأكثر

وبألوان

الربيع

ألحن القصيد

وعطر

الحب

للعشاق أمطر

أجبني

سريع

بغير حساب

متى يكون

الزهر أزهر؟؟

في الصيف

أم

في الشتاء ؟؟

في الخريف

أم

في الربيع

أزهر؟؟.

إن كان

في الربيع

أليك ماتريد

وترجم

الإحساس

على صفحات

دفتر

رسمت بالشعور

مواطن العبور

لى

قلب الحبيب لأسكر

حبي لها

كبير

ياليتها تفيق

والشوق

في

داخلي كان

أكبر

لاتلمني

فأنا

العاشق لا كن

لم تكن تعلم

أني

حين

ألقاها

لساني يتعثر

وصدى

قلبي

إلى حنجرتي

وكلامي فوق

أمواج

الغرامي يتكسر

آه ياعيني

إفصحي

عن كلما

يخفيه قلبي

ثم كوني

منه أرحم

أفضحي

قلبي

وقولي

في الملء

أنه العاشق

سرا

سوف يخسر.

Let's talk a little about whom I wanted to call all day long & I didn't at the end:S
I don't know why I didn't ...I don;t know why it is being that weired ...it used to be very easy to call him & he to call me & talk with me & joke with me...I know I don't Love him...I just want to get the one whom I  used to talk to & joke with him a little bit more than the others..
Although we r totally different characters...I found in him someone that I can talk to ..but after some time also I realized that I can't talk to him about everything ..coz he don't talk to me to listen ..he just talks when he don't have someone to talk to ...or when his other friends are busy ...so why not have a litlle chat with someone in order not to feel alone...!!
He is not a bad guy,he has a lot of good things that I love about him & also he has some things that I don't like ...everyone has his own faults..But he is definetly not the perfect guy for me...
First of all ,I believe that "a Good listener can't be a Good talker & a Good Talker can't be a Good listener"
He is a Good talker,& I think I am a Good listener..so he can't be a good listener to listen to me & I can't be a good talker as he ...so i think that is one big difference..
I just want to figure out what went wrong ?!!why did he change in dealing with me !!& why did I change too!!!!!!I sometimes just can't talk to him in front of people,while on the phone for example i can talk for more than an hour...He does the same sometimes....He can talk on the phone for a vey long time & turn from one topic to another ,while in front of people I feel as if he don't know me...or I feel that he don't want people to know that we talk a lot or we are good friends...
MAY BE we r not good friends at the end....& I just feel that we r But that is how he deal with all or at least most of his friends....& I just don't mean to him anything except a SUBSTITUTE for him when some of his friends are busy for him or are not around.

I just don't know..& I need not to think...I have to stopppppppppppp...& I decided i will.